The Trauma and Bravery of Bucky Barnes.

ladywinter-1325:

boogiewoogiebuglegal:

marvelmistress2015:

hisbabygirl18love:

taste-is-sweet:

verysharpteeth:

cairistiona7:

kassysyd:

Everyone’s talking about Tony’s trauma in Siberia but can we just focus for a moment on Bucky?

First of all, he has to return to the place that basically destroyed him. Where they tortured and wiped him again and again. Where they forced him to obey, to kill and who knows what else. He has to walk into hell and he does it willingly to protect others. Not even specific people he cares about but hypothetical people who might be targeted by the super soldiers, by Zemo.

He has to face the man who triggered him before and risk being triggered again. His greatest fear, the one thing that has him ask to go back into cryo and give up life itself. And he does that willingly too. He puts himself and Steve at risk to protect others.

He’s forced to watch himself killing Tony’s Mom and Howard, his friend. Revisit the trauma of the act all over again, the guilt and the pain. Then he has to stand there and face the anger and blame of Howard’s son, and his violence. And his reaction to being attacked? To run. He tries so hard to get away.

While standing in the middle of his own personal hell, watching himself commit acts that he had no power to prevent on people he cared for, all the while risking getting triggered all over again and hurting the person he cares for most of all. And then he gets attacked for it. Blamed for it. On top of his own horrific guilt, he has that trauma too.

Bucky tried so hard to do the right thing. Instead of running again. Going to ground. He went back there and he faced it all. Risked it all.

So fucking brave!

We talk so much about Bucky’s trauma in terms of how damaged he is and how he must be protected, and rightfully so, but we also need to be sure we’re including in our discussion his STRENGTH. This man needs love and care, but he is not a wooby. He does not curl into a fetal position 24/7. He still does what he always does: protects. The urge to do the right thing is so strong in Bucky that years of trauma and mind-wiping could not erase it nor stop him from doing what he knows must be done. There were so many moments when he could have excused himself from the mission. He could easily have run from the moment that video started. He would have been excused if he had. But he stood firm, knowing that Tony would see his parents die at the Winter Soldier’s hands. His own hands, as he sees it (his heartbreaking “But I did it….” rings in our minds as watch the scene unfold). But he stayed. He stood in tears and endured Tony’s reaction, until Tony went after Steve. And he stayed in the battle until Steve all but commanded that he run, and as he did, one wonders if he did so hoping Tony would abandon Steve and follow him instead. (I would love to hear Sebastian’s thoughts on that.)

And then, at the end, he also made his own choice based on his own strength: he chose to go into cryo, because it was the best way he could ensure that everyone was safe from him until such a time when HYDRA’s programming wasn’t still in his head. There had to have been a small measure of selfishness involved, a measure of relief that he would finally find rest, but surely 99% of the decision was driven by his mistrust of his own mind and the hurt he might cause others. Staying awake and with Steve had to have pulled so strongly at his heart, but in the end, he was strong enough to do what he felt was the right thing.

Because if nothing else, James Buchanan Barnes is strong.

I like to add that for two years he was catapulted into the future just like Steve with only the limited skills the Winter Soldier picked up on missions to navigate with and he DID it. He’s living on his own, working his past out and he has NO support system. He’s utterly alone. And he figures it out. Yes he’s living in a rathole, but it’s SAFE and honestly neat as a pin given the situation. He’s got kitchen utensils and candy bars and goes out shopping and seems to be enjoying himself and he clearly has done this for two years. He hasn’t been able to talk to anyone about his issues. He hasn’t had anyone reassuring him.

Bucky is DAMN tough. Possibly one of the most resilient characters in the whole MCU. He’s been to hell and back twice, the second time ALONE. And he does it. And he does it with dignity.

YES.

@shazrolane @darkmoore05

There is one more scene that no one talks about that really proved all this to me and brought how he felt about being captured. When him and Captain America get arrested the first time, he goes with them. He sits in another chair strapped down, in another box…resigned to his fate. And just thinking about being in another chair strapped down could not have been good for him. Then as Zemo is saying the words to change him back, Bucky knows he has to get away or he’s going to be killing again for someone else. And tries so hard to get out and almost makes it. But as I watched that play out, I was thinking…he could have done that in the beginning. He could have broken out. But he wanted to stay, to either face his charges and punishment or to get help and possibly both. He is not oblivious to his crimes or condition. That to me was one of his strongest moments. That whole sequence was brave.

The one line that Bucky said that will always haunt me “What did I do?” The look on his face (sebby acts with his whole body) showed that his greatest fear he’d hurt anyone ever again was so evident. That one line with that look got to Steve too.

^^^^ This. All of this. People who call him a villain haven’t got a damned clue. 

I’m proud of all of you people!!!!!